First I'd like to thank everyone for the comments and support from the last post. The more we discuss and bring awareness, the more we create a supportive community where one can feel safe expressing their own stories. Discussions over the past few weeks have allowed me to put some pieces of my puzzle together.
I mentioned that orthorexia has been part of my life in the last two and half years, but it began much earlier. Examples include, in elementary school instead of eating lunch I would bring it home and hide it, in junior high I introduced myself to meal replacement shakes and in high school I took diet pills.
My entire school career I wanted people to like me. Controlling food was fuelled by me not able to control peoples' opinions. My insecurities were at a point where I would constantly question my friendships. Self doubt and the manifestation of negative thoughts was my daily ritual. Thankfully my ah-ha moment, has allowed me to recognize my obsession with food wasn't normal. I wasn't the healthiest I've ever been and I needed help.
I'm lucky that I have come to a place of recognition; this isn't the case for everyone. Slowly releasing the rules and restrictions opened the door to food freedom. My daily mantras have changed to love and acceptance and I'm able to nourish my body and mind. Thank you for continued support. Feel free to message me with any questions, or topics you would like to explore in future posts.
"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."